We Are Getting A Scoreboard
-[sniffs] [whistles] What is-
-There has been-
-... this? [laughs]
-There has been a penalty on the Summer.
-Why did you get my scarf?
-Because it was the closest thing to a
-yellow flag that I could find.
-[laughs]
There has been a penalty on the Summer by
one Allison King.
-What?
-Let's share with the crowd.
-What is happening? [laughs]
-Allie is Summer Allie, and I would like to
-give her props for-
-I don't know what to do with this now
... trying to create a space during the
week to where the kids aren't playing
upstairs in my office while I'm trying to
do work, of which I appreciate.
-Okay.
-However, one of the things that Allie has
-purchased-
-[laughs] Oh, my-
-... to entertain the children-
-... [laughs] I didn't know
... um, was what I just used. Where did I
even put it?
-I don't-
-Did I put it here?
-I don't know. No, you have it.
-I don't know where it went anymore.
-Well, good. [laughs]
-The whistle.
-[laughs] Okay.
-There is the whistle.
-I didn't know. I didn't know.
-Not only is there a whistle, there are
-handcuffs.
-Okay, well- [laughs]
And there's like a full setup. And so
we've got our kids running around with
handcuffs and police whistles. It's a,
it's a dress-up set.
-[laughs]
-So-
-I felt bad for the boys-
-Let me just-
... but we had all this stuff, and the
boys didn't have anything. And so, I got
what was, what I thought, what Amazon told
me it was, which is like these vests and-
Mm-hmm. Like, they didn't-
-... like, some hats.
-Allison, you need to read the fine
-details-
-No.
-... to know that there's noise-making.
-It's okay. And so I didn't know. [laughs]
Because what did our kids do all day
today? They took turns with the police
whistle, blowing it constantly, all day
long.
-[laughs] I'm sorry.
-So, flag on the play this summer, for one
-Allison King.
-Okay. Well, if we're keeping score, I want
that in these shelves, a scoreboard.
[laughs]
That's actually legit what we need. We
need a scoreboard, and then we need to
-have some rules.
-That's probably not healthy for our
-marriage, but-
-No, but it's help- it's content, though.
-It's great for the-
-[laughs]
-It's great for the pod.
-Okay. Well, is that a point for you, or is
-it like-
-That would be-
... a golf situation, where you don't
want, get lowest score?
-Wrong. Yes, yes.
-Like, are points penalties?
Low... Points are penalties. So, it's
like-
-So, you get a mark.
-You want... You get a mark. So, it's not
-like points, it's like demerits.
-Oh, no.
-So, yes.
-Look at us riffing right now.
-Whoa.
-And refining something.
-Whoa. Hold up.
-Hold up.
-Is somebody salty?
-No, I'm not salty. I was being a plug for
-your own thing.
-Are you, are you, are you upset that I'm
-stepping out?
-A little bit. Not really. Really, I'm
-like, "Please take him." [laughs]
-[laughs] We can talk about that in a
-minute. This is Episode 30.
-I thought we were starting over.
-We haven't yet.
-Okay. [laughs]
We'll figure that out yet. We're, we're
riffing right now. Episode 30 of the No
One Asked Us Podcast. This is my beautiful
wife, Allison, in a shirt that we will
-have to discuss.
-Oh, it's a great shirt.
And I am Will. Let's do it.
I'm a little upset.
-Why are you upset, Allison?
-Because Will and I are planning our week,
and we're talking about everything that we
need to do, and it's like-
Oh, man. Now I have no idea what this is
about.
-Mm-hmm. How- how do you like that?
-I don't like having... I don't like-
-So-
-What is it? The shoe on the other foot?
So, he was like, "Hey, we need to go ahead
and record our podcast, so that way we
can take all these down, 'cause we're
having company over and..."
-That's true. That's true.
-I'm like, "Okay, fine." And he's like,
"So, we're gonna record a podcast
tonight." And I'm like, "Okay."
-Facts.
-"Sounds wonderful. Um, what are we talking
-about?" "I'm not gonna tell ya."
-Yeah, that's right. I had to surprise her
-with the penalty flag.
-That was it?
-That was it.
-Oh.
-Oh.
-Womp, womp.
-[laughs]
-[laughs]
-Fuck, that was a good bit. That's rude.
-Okay, then do you wanna just, like, shut
-this off-
-No, I mean, that wasn't-
-... 'cause that's all you have planned?
-No, I've got other stuff planned, but that
was like the one I didn't wanna tell you
about so you were surprised.
But I don't know. I don't know about
anything.
That's okay. We'll figure that out as we
go.
-I don't love that. That's not fair.
-I mean, okay, so let's just kick it off.
-Okay.
-Since you brought it up. I am starting
another podcast-type show with buddy Josh
Seery.
-Mm-hmm.
-That is going to be... The reason... I
explained it on our first episode of that,
which is on YouTube, Riff and Refine. Um,
I explained it as this was going to be my
work outlet for yappin', but then
-you got involved because I asked you to.
-Me?
Yeah, you got involved with S- what
previously known as Strong Opinions Weekly
-Held.
-You asked me?
That's what I just, that's what I just
said, Allison.
-Oh, okay. I'm sorry. [laughs]
-I said by my request, you got involved.
-Oh, sorry. I just-
-Uh, and then-
-... automatic sentence. But-
-... it has, like, slowly con- like, turned
-into more about, like, our relationship-
-Yeah
-... and our family and...
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm
... just talking about life and humor and-
So, basically, you couldn't yap about work
to me, so you had to find some poor soul-
Well, here's the thing-
-... to yap their ear off
-... every time I yap about work, you...
I'm sure the, the crowd has noticed this,
if they are watchers on YouTube, you pull
your phone up and start just scrolling
through whatever-
-[laughs]
-... because you can't... You're just like,
-"This is boring."
-Mm-hmm.
-So, yeah, I went-
-She feels.
I went and found somebody else. I'm
stepping out.
-Good. Take him.
-Anyway-
-He can have you
-... so, we're doing stuff that's on, like,
-creativity and making and-
-Love that
-... it'll be dope, but...
-It'll be so great. Congratulations. Proud
-of you.
-No, it's gonna be fun.
-Keep on keeping on.
-I think, I think, what's so funny is, I
think both of our, these podcasts have,
like, a lot of potential to be something
-if we wanted them to be something.
-Okay.
And I've thought about it, 'cause I'm
like, "You know, we're really not catering
-to the right audience-"
-I know.
-"... for this podcast."
-We're really not.
We're really not. There's a lot. There's a
much bigger, uh, demographic of, you
-know, Midwestern-
-I don't... No, just people
... uh, women who would be very interested
in this type- [laughs]
I don't feel like it needs to be
Midwestern. It's just people in general.
-But-
-But anywho, we're not doing that today.
Anyway, I've thought about it.... and I
don't think I wanna do that. Like, I don't
think I want this one specifically to be-
You don't want this to be what takes off
because you wanna take off for other
-reasons. Mm-hmm.
-Here's why. Well, I thought about it. It's
like, I don't want this one to take off
because I don't want this to turn into,
-like, a business.
-Okay. Okay.
-You know?
-Cool, cool, cool.
Like, I love doing this with you, and I
love being able to talk about, like, the
actual reality of our life and what's
going on.
-Yeah.
-And I don't like having to feel like I've
got to come on to this thing that we
record with trying to outdo what we
-did before. You know? And I feel like-
-Mm-hmm
... if it went big, and it was something
that was making money-
Disclaimer, we're not ever gonna make it
big.
-We're not.
-So-
On purpose. On purpose. And I think we
could if we really wanted to.
-Hmm, I don't think so.
-Take it bigger, at least.
I don't think so. Nobody cares about us.
Nobody asked us. Literally.
-Literally, no one asked us.
-No one asked us. So-
However, there is a, I think there is a
big plenty, clearly, with all the other
type of podcasts like this, there's like a
market for people who love watching
-couples and hearing about like-
-Banter
... life. Banter, humor, relationships,
family, raising children. Like that
-content-
-Yes, yes, yes
-... is all over your feed. In, on like-
-Correct. [laughs]
You know? So it's like, there's clearly a
market for it. But it's just like, I don't
-want our life to turn into like content.
-Yeah. I get that.
But I love doing this because the reason I
do like doing this and sharing it with
-who we share it with, where we share it-
-All eight of you.
Right. It's like y'all are my buddies. And
like, y'all care about us. Like you
-don't... It's not that you're like-
-You know what's so funny? Your buddies
-know about this.
-But your buddies could-
-None of mine do.
-I don't know why. You can share it with
-them.
-I don't know why. I just haven't.
You should. I don't know. Like I just see
this-
-I don't know, I just feel like-
-... I see this as like-
-... this is like a-
-... this is something fun. Hmm. Okay.
-Here's why.
-S-
-Okay. Go ahead.
-Do you know why I know why I haven't
-shared it?
-Go ahead. Let's see why you haven't
shared, and I'll see why I haven't shared.
I bet you can guess why I haven't shared
it.
-'Cause I'm on it? [laughs]
-Okay. No, and all of my friends know about
-you as a person.
-That's fair. That's fair.
No, I think it's shockingly out of my
character to do something like this.
-Oh, incredibly out of your character.
-Like-
-Like this is not-
-This isn't anywhere-
-What's funny is like-
-... within my wheelhouse-
-Hmmmm
-... of, well, you know, like...
-It's you.
-It-
But it's not a you that is seen in most
circumstances socially.
Correct. And it's also not me to be like,
"Hey, I've started this thing."
Come look at me. Right. Right. Whereas I
have no shame.
-[laughs] Yeah.
-[laughs]
-None. I have all the shame.
-You have, you hold all the shame for us.
-[laughs]
-[laughs]
So it's just like I don't, I haven't,
'cause somebody needs to rein us in.
That's fair. I respect that. Also was
thinking about it too from like a, this is
in my way, like a way of internet friends
knowing us better.
-Mm-hmm.
-'Cause we don't get to see them all the
time. Whereas like all of your friends,
all of the people that you socialize with
or message already know us pretty
intimately, either because they're in town
-and spend a lot of time with us.
-Yeah.
And get to see us interacting. Or like we
went to college with them.
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Etc., etc. So it's like, I ha- you don't
have a ton of like internet friends that
you just have not ever met in person, or
-have only gotten to-
-I have no internet friends.
Right. Or like you've gotten to only meet
a couple times. So it's like, whereas I
have like, I... This isn't, I don't know
if this is embarrassing to say or not.
-No. [laughs]
-However... [laughs]
-Okay. Well, at all. [laughs]
-But like most of my closest friends I
would consider to be the ones on the
inter- like my internet buddies who I've
s- I have seen, at least all the ones I
consider my closest, at least once in
person. And if not, I've had like video
calls with them to where we've gotten to
-like face-to-face interact. However-
-I don't know. I feel like we can dive into
-that another time, because...
-Because why?
-I don't know.
-Anyway, back to Rif & Refine.
-Okay.
-I guess. That's where we started.
-And-
-I think that's one that could, could take
-off.
-Yeah.
It's more like business focused,
creativity focused, which is like, man, if
the people wanna pay me and Josh as we
like hopefully get a bigger audience with
that, like, I'm fine having everyone see
us talk about that kinda stuff.
I am just like, somebody pay you? I think
it's like, I wanna talk to those people
that... Will? You wanna pay Will? Will
King?
-Why, why not, Alison? I'm-
-I don't know.
I, it could, it, it, they wouldn't be
paying me. They would be paying-
-I mean, you get it
-... for the people who pay attention to
-me.
-Okay. But still.
But so what you're saying is like, why
would anyone pay attention to Will?
-[laughs]
-Yeah.
-That's fair.
-You don't have to.
That's fair. I don't know. I feel like in
the realm of the stuff that we're talking
about, I'm pretty decent with like design,
creativity, etc.
I just wanna let it known that I wasn't
checking my messages because you were
-talking about work, but my mom called.
-Oh, it's-
-Is what I was doing.
-It's fine. It's fine. You didn't pick your
-phone up. A watch is fine.
-Okay.
Anyway. So yeah. Me and Josh have a new
thing that we're trying to do. We'll see
-how it goes.
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.
-I think it'll be fun. Um...
-Okay.
-But-
-I don't know what's coming up next.
-The other thing-
-For us to talk about.
Right. The next thing that I'd like to
talk about is how perfect today was.
-Ooh.
-Today-
Not the word I'd use for it, but you know.
Okay. I see what... It's not perfect in
the classical sense of like, it was the
-best day ever. But today felt like...
-[laughs]
Today felt like the essential, like
quintessential. That's the word I'm
looking for. The quintessential family
with small children day.
-Yeah.
-In a way that was like, at the end of it
you're like, tired, but feel very rewarded
in the way the day is. Here's why.
-Let's give you an outline of today.
-Interesting.
-Today we woke up. Surprise.
-6:00 AM.
6:00 AM. Totally fine. That's what time we
wake up all the time.
-That's normal for us.
-Um, and then we went to our favorite
-delightfully mediocre breakfast.
-Yeah.
Although their breakf- okay, their, the
rest of their meals-
-Their breakfast-
-... aren't like delightfully mediocre.
-Their breakfast slaps.
-The breakfast slaps.
-It's Chappy's. We all love Chappy's.
-Chappy's Deli.
-Chappy's deli d-
-That's the sponsor we need in our life.
-We need Chappy's to s-
-Okay.
-That's what I'm talking about.
-Paul's-
-That's a great idea, actually
-... I got the VIP treatment at Chappy's
the other day, and we didn't have a chance
to talk about this.
-Wait, was I there?
-Yes. You were already in the restaurant
-sitting down.
-Oh, I saw you. You got a little backdoor.
-You got a little backdoor entrance.
-They, like, let me through the backdoor
-and they were like-
-Yeah
-... "They're already seated."
-They-
And I'm like, "Yes, they are. They already
know me."
They w- they saw you coming in and were
like, "Mm, it's Ally. She can come in
-there." Yeah.
-She's- she's Chappy's VIP.
We are Chappy's VIP. They... We come in
for breakfast and they, like, know what we
-want.
-Yeah.
There's one of the waitresses that, like,
literally meets us at the door 'cause,
-like, she knows all of our kiddos.
-Yeah.
-And she brings our youngest a-
-A yogurt
... a yogurt every time and feeds him
yogurt because-
-And just, like, puts-
-... he loves it
-... Davis on her hip.
-Yeah.
-And, you know-
-It's fantastic
... it's great. But I got, like, the royal
treatment at Chappy's and I'm like,
-"Wow."
-[clears throat] It's great.
-"I've arrived."
-You have arrived.
-That's peak.
-There's nothing better than walking in-
-Peak Chappy's
-... there's nothing better than walking
into a restaurant and being a regular, in
my opinion.
But also, I'd be devastated if they
treated others that way.
-Ooh.
-I'm sure other people are also peak
-Chappy's.
-You like a- you like exclusive.
-Yeah.
-Well, today, our... The, the waitress that
we're friends with, like, was talking
about, like, she just saw somebody walking
out and she's like, "Oh, she's 36 weeks."
Like, talking about her, like we should
know her. I'm like, "No, we don't know who
this person is."
-We don't know who it is.
-I'm like, "Oh, no, it's someone else."
-I know. She's-
-It's, like, somebody else who regularly
-goes-
-I know
... and now they know that person. But
there's great-
-Crazy.
-There's... It's great having other
-regulars.
-Anywho, we had a wonderful breakfast at
-Chappy's.
-Wonderful breakfast at Chappy's. We wrap
up breakfast at Chappy's, and we go and
get groceries. It was a big grocery haul.
-We were out of everything.
-Three kiddos. It's Publix, so you know, if
you've got kids, you know it's all about
the driving buggies. So we've got our
-driving buggies.
-Yep.
We do the grocery haul. We come back.
There are so many groceries, it takes me
-two trips. [sighs]
-I thought you said on Twitter it took you
-one.
-No. No, do you not understand? Oh, you
-misunderstood the tweet.
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. First of
-all, don't do that.
-Don't do what?
-Did you not understand?
-Did you not? She de- clearly didn't,
-everybody.
-Did you not understand?
She misun- it's okay. The other person...
I must have worded it terribly because the
other person, so, uh, Mike Builds is his
name on Twitter, he misunderstood the
-tweet as well.
-It was probably you.
It was probably me. I'm terrible at
wording things. I should get you to
-proofread.
-It took you multiple twai- times-
-[clears throat]
-... to bring all those groceries in.
-It-
-Anyhoo.
It di- it took me more than one. The tweet
was like, "Days since." It took me more
-than one. Zero-
-I think you left out more
... as in long. Mm, I don't know. Anyway,
moving on.
I'm doing it. That's why I'm grabbing my
phone.
-Uh, anyway. So-
-I'm gonna expose you right here, right
-now. [laughs]
-... [laughs] we went to the grocery store.
We did all those big errands. We come
home and, you know, we unload all this.
Well, tomorrow, we are having everybody
over to our house in the neighborhood for
l- that has kids our age, for, like, a big
splash party. Like, we got the big
inflatable with the bouncy castle and the
slide in- into it. And that's gonna come
-tomorrow, which means if you're married-
-Did you just glitch? [laughs]
I did have just, like, a moment where I
was like, "What was the next thing I was
gonna say?" I don't know. Okay. Which, if
you're married to a Southern lady, you
know that means your entire house is gonna
be cleaned from tip to tail. And I
-pressure wash.
-Oh, my gosh. Far out.
So I had to, like, pressure wa- I went out
in the backyard and I spent probably-
-You spent a-
-... majority of the day pressure washing
-our back patio-
-... ridiculous amount of time pressure
-washing that patio.
-Well, well, okay. Here's why. It's because
-it got junked up by-
-Packed.
... all of us. So it first took me forever
just to get everything off of the patio
-in the first place.
-Okay.
And to also throw away a bunch of stuff
and clean up-
-Okay
-... a bunch of stuff, et cetera, et
-cetera.
-Okay.
-So that took a big chunk of time.
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
-Then I had to do the rugs.
-Okay, yeah.
Which we have two of. Then after the rugs,
which are about the same size as the
-whole patio-
-Correct
... with both of them. So it was basically
like I did the whole patio twice, and
then I had to do the patio after that. And
[laughs] during-
I feel like you made this last longer
though.
D- uh, I didn't. I didn't. I was not the
guy from the walk last week.
Mm, I think you were. I think you were
like-
-No
-... "Oh, Ally wants to do all this stuff
-inside."
-No, 'cause the kids came out. And then
Palmer wanted to pressure wash as well,
and I was like, "How am I gonna say no to
-my daughter wanting to pressure wash?"
-No. I need to get through this quickly.
-[laughs]
-We have other things to do.
-No, I don't.
-There you go.
-It was just too fun. She was so excited.
-I'm glad that y'all had a good time, it
-was fun.
-I wanted to include her. We did. It was so
fun. And then David- Davis was like, "I
don't know what this is, but this seems
-exciting."
-Davis was just about, like-
And then tried to put his, like, hands and
feet under the water that is, like-
-It was just about the mud puddles-
-... gonna destroy him
-... in the backyard.
-Yeah. So, anyway, all the kids are in
boots. They're playing in the backyard in
all the water and the mud that is coming
off of pressure washing the patio. So it
was just, like, so fun. We finished up all
that. We spent, like, the entire day
doing that. The kids are all dirty, so
it's, like, lunchtime is, like, come in.
Everybody gets, like, a bath in the middle
-of the day.
-A mid- midday bath.
Midday bath. We do lunch. They do naps. I
go back outside. We clean up the whole
-backyard. We clean up the inside.
-Picked up sticks.
Picked up... Ally came out and picked up
sticks.
-Put on my weighted vest.
-Which is hilarious because then she tells
me, "That's the first yard work I've ever
done as an adult." And I was like, "Oh,
-interesting."
-I got married so I didn't have to do that.
That's hilarious. [laughs] Anyway.
-That's a Will problem. [laughs]
-So that was like... So it was, like, a
bunch of, like, ya- uh, bunch of, like,
housework, backyard work, with, like, the
-kids in and out of it.
-Disclaimer, I was in the house doing
-laundry and all of, like, inside stuff.
-Yeah, Ally did a ton of stuff to get the
inside ready. So it's like we're doing all
this. The kids are, like, outside and
inside and, you know, we're all doing,
like, just, like, a, a very busy, very
interactive day. We finally, like, get all
of it done. We do homemade tacos, which-
-Taco night
-... taco night is just fantastic. We love
taco night. So good. After dinner, we go
on just the most fun golf... We have a
golf cart that lets us, like, play music
through the golf cart as well.
-Mm.
-And so we were just jamming, driving
-around our neighborhood-
-Straight jamming.
-... in, like, perfect-
-Belting songs
... like, 80-degree weather with a cool
breeze.
It was definitely not 80 degrees. It was,
like, 75.
-Even better, 75 degrees.
-I know. That's why I was like, "Don't
-short this." This is a-
-Yeah, it was perfect
-... beautiful evening.
-It was like the most perfect evening. We
were jamming in the, in the golf cart,
driving around, come back, bedtimes, done.
Yep.
-Like-
-Done
... the quintessential, perfect, like
super busy.
-It was busy, but it was a good day.
-Super rewarding. Capped it off with like
the perfect neighborhood drive in the golf
cart.
-We are very blessed.
-Very blessed day today.
-For sure.
-So-
It's definitely... Going to sleep tonight
with a full heart.
-Full... Can't lose, [laughs] as they say.
-Clear eyes, full heart.
-[laughs]
-Can't lose. But we kinda did because-
-S-
-... not only was there a police whistle-
-The whistles. Because the whistles
-Somehow, and I genuinely don't know where
-this came from, Wilson found-
-Oh
-... a n-
-... a megaphone
-... a mega... Like a-
-Where did that even come from? I-
-I don't know. He just walks in-
-I swear somebody's trolling us.
He just walks in with a box, and like
Wilson's kinda loud as it is, like-
-He is very loud
-... classic middle child.
I'm crossing my fingers 'cause I have a
Wilson story that's like-
-And so-
-Two Wilson stories, in fact
... he comes in... Why are you using my
cross your fingers thing?
-It's a good... It's a good one.
-Do I need to cross my fingers that you're
-crossing your fingers?
-No. I got it.
-Okay.
-It's Wilson.
Um, Wilson comes in with this box and was
like, "Mommy, can you put this together?"
-And you were just like-
-"I want to play with this."
-... "What the heck is this?"
-And I was like, "Uh, where did you get
-that?"
-"And where did you find this?"
And he couldn't really ever tell me where
he found it.
-[laughs]
-So... [laughs]
Some stranger probably just gave it to
him. [laughs]
I'm still... I don't know. But it was
like-
-It was like a Narnia situation. Mm-hmm.
-Chaos. And so I went ahead and put it
-together-
-Something's in the cupboard
... but it was like a voice changing
megaphone.
-Ugh.
-And so like, he can make it sound like a
-robot or an alien or-
-That was-
-... ha- have it be an echo.
-It was... It was simultaneously hilarious
-and frustrating.
-It was hilarious, but the worst, because
-he would just like walk around-
-Yell
-... with it and go, "Ha!"
-[laughs]
-Like into the megaphone, just, "Ha!"
-[laughs]
And so I'm like, "That's enough." [laughs]
Well, the best- the best was when we put
Davis down for a nap today, and we were
like, "Hey, buddy. Davie's going down for
a nap, so if you're gonna do that, you
have to go to Daddy's office," which is
like the opposite side of the house, like
-upstairs.
-Yeah.
And he- we hear him from the kitchen all
the way up in that room just going-
-[laughs]
-"... And the rockets red gl-..." Just into
-the megaphone with like the alien noise.
-Like the... Yeah, it was-
-Like, it was hilarious.
-Huh.
Oh, so speaking of Wilson, I've got two
Wilson stories for us tonight. Story
number one, which is going to be highly
edited, but has hilarious and needs to be
-shared. The other day, Ally-
-Oh, don't share this, for the sake of
-his... For the sake of his-
-Future
-... future.
-I respect that.
I don't think that should be shared on the
internet.
-I respect that.
-Sorry.
-That is fair.
-Sorry, everybody.
I was on the line about it, but it was
just too funny. I almost did. Okay, fine.
-You should cut it-
-Cut
-... out. [laughs]
-No, we'll leave it in so people know that
-there's a story that they can't know.
-Okay.
And if they wanna DM me, I'll tell them.
They probably won't, but I'll tell them
-anyway.
-Probably not.
Anyway. Okay, the other one. This...
[laughs] So I was putting Wilson to bed
tonight, and I just was cracking up
because... All right. You remember the New
Girl episode, um, when Nick and Jess are
finally at like the comfortable part of
their relationship, that Nick puts on his
night shirt?
-[laughs] Yes.
-And for those of you who are familiar,
you'll know exactly what that is. If
you're not familiar, it's like a giant
T-shirt that like goes down to his ankles.
-It looks like a dress, yeah.
-And it looks like a dress, but it's his
night shirt. Wilson wears night shirts to-
-He has a nightshirt
-... like he wears these giant shirts.
-That's it.
-Giant T-shirts.
Just in his underwear. Giant T-shirts that
like go down to his ankle.
-They're great.
-And he loves them. He would not go to b-
Like, he used to wear, like, classic
jammies, like tight on your skin, long
-sleeve, long pants.
-Tight jammies.
Tight jammies. And he cannot stand those
anymore. He's just got this big billowy,
-down to his ankles-
-He just wants a big T
-... big T shirt.
-I feel that.
-And it's hilarious.
-In my core.
-It is so funny. That-
-I'm gonna... Have we ever discussed the
-crossing your fingers thing?
-No, but go ahead. That's a good one.
-Uh, this is a good-
-That's a good kindergarten teacher hack.
-But also-
-But it actually came from my mom
... your husband's extremely forgetful
hack.
That, um, my mom told me about this. And
so like, she's done it all the time, and
now I do it. And I have also taught my
kindergarten class this this year and they
-did it too, and it's-
-Really?
-Yes.
-Oh.
-It's so cool.
-Tell... After this one, tell about cross
-your fingers.
-Okay.
I'll cross my fingers about the other one.
So, this is a great example of it. I'm in
the middle of something and I'm talking
-about something-
-Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
... or I'm doing something and Will wants
to share something. So he's gonna cross
his fingers, and the crossing of the
fingers kinda helps tie-
-Mm-hmm
-... and help put an action to like what he
wants to remember. So that way when I'm
done, he's gonna tell me about why his
-fingers are crossed.
-Correct. All right. The thing. Talk about
-rice.
-What?
[laughs] We ate rice for dinner and we're
cleaning it up, and
Ally goes, "King family, zero, rice,
one."
-Oh, yeah.
-Or like, whatever.
-Rice versus King family.
-Rice versus King family, the rice won. And
-I was like, "What?" I'm like, kinda-
-And Palmer knew what I was talking about.
I'm like- I was like kinda getting it.
Palmer's like, "Ha, ha. You know, like,
-this is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah."
-[laughs]
And then I'm like, "What is happening
right now? I do not g- get what's going
-on."
-So-
And then Ally's like, "It's a thing we do
at school." I'm like-
At school, um, we eat lunch in our
classrooms. And so every like Tuesday is
taco Tuesday, and they send the kids,
um... Lunch is provided, and so they send
'em in these boxes of like their- their
lunch. And so on taco Tuesday, they also,
uh, give rice. And so I- I don't know how
rice is for all of you people at home,
-but-
-It's all the same-
-It's-
-... if you have small children.
-It's everywhere.
-It's everywhere.
And so the teachers, we kinda put our
heads together, and we're like, "Okay,
look. What can we do so we're not having
to clean up and sweep up and vacuum all
-this rice?"
-Right, right.
You know, all the time. And it takes away
from other things.
Which you having to eat lunch in your
rooms is another thing altogether. Anyway,
-go ahead.
-[sighs] I don't mind it. I kinda like it.
-It just keeps us in our own little nest.
-I guess. [laughs]
I'm- I'm here for it. Um, but we
implemented rice versus kindergarten. And
-it's like-
-Everybody loves a good versus
... there is-Um, rice on the tables on the
floor, rice wins. And not like a grain,
-but, like, if it looks like-
-If it looks like-
-... confetti-
-... there's a mess, yeah
... in the room, rice wins. If, you know,
our area's nice and clean, kindergarten
-wins.
-Right.
And in my classroom, we do something
called golden tickets, um, which is like a
-positive behavior management-
-Mm-hmm
... behavior management system. Um, they
get a gold ticket.
-Love that.
-And it, and it creates teamwork. You know-
We love teamwork
-... It's like you're encouraging-
-Teamwork makes the dream work
... your neighbor. Like, "Hey, I see
you've got some rice on the table. You
-might wanna clean that up." [laughs]
-Yeah. Ask any King kid, teamwork makes the
-dream work. We love teamwork.
-For sure. So we had rice tonight-
-Yep
-... and rice totally-
-Rice, rice beat the King family
-... whooped us. [laughs]
-Beat. [laughs]
-[laughs] No. Can-o whoop.
-Beat, beat down.
-Yeah.
Beat down. All right, so I've got a couple
of what I would call quick hits, um, here
-for us.
-Okay.
Which is, uh, the other day... Our
pharmacy, uh, is
-also, like, a gift store.
-[laughs]
[laughs] And, um, Ally walks in and is
talking to the owner of the gift store,
and she's like, "Their kids go to school
with us," or whatever. And she, Ally's
like, "Yep." She mentioned that she
sees... She's like, "I see your husband in
-here a lot."
-[laughs]
[laughs] I'm like, I was like, "Yeah, I'm
basically... I'm on a first name basis
-with our pharmacy."
-Well, I, I said, "That's because the
-boys-"
-Like talking about-
-... "are never healthy." [laughs] So-
-You know what, you know what's fun? Being
a regular at your, like, favorite
restaurants in town. You know what's not
-great being a regular?
-Oh. Oh.
At the pharmacy and the doctor's office.
[laughs]
-Another antibiotic.
-[laughs] I used to, like, walk into our
doctor's office before we had to change,
'cause that one shut down, and, like, the
front desk people would be like, "Got you
covered, Mr. King."
-Yeah.
-And I'd go sit down and, you know, just a
-regular.
-Yeah.
So I thought that was really funny, that
not only am I a regular at a restaurant,
-like, we're regulars at restaurants-
-I go to Waffle House and Chappie's
... we're regulars at our pharmacy 'cause
our poor sickly little boys-
-Yeah.
-One of 'em had... They... Wilson had in-
-It's just this-
-I wanna call it, I wanna call it
-infantago, but you said it's not that.
-It is not even that. No.
-What is it?
-It's called impetigo.
-Impetigo.
-I think.
But it's like, looks like leprosy. So
Wilson had leprosy a couple weeks ago.
-[laughs]
-And then Davis has had leprosy this week.
-Wilson has an ear infection.
-Super fun to deal with. Wilson has an ear
-infection.
-Despite the tubes in his ears.
This is true. This is true. But they're
starting to come out 'cause he's, like,
-hitting the year mark on those.
-Anyhoo.
Anyhoo. Um, the other one, this one, uh,
like, cracked me up that I just remembered
this. I don't remember what triggered me
remembering this, but do you remember when
-Palmer was, like, two years old?
-I do remember her being two, yes.
-[laughs]
-[laughs]
-And we lived at Croom House-
-Mm-hmm
... which is still in our same
neighborhood, and we went on a walk one
-afternoon, one evening after dinner.
-Okay.
And for some reason, Palmer decided she
was just gonna start running.
-I think so.
-And she ran.
-Hmm. Oh, ran. Yeah.
-And ran, and ran, and ran, and ran. And
that little girl ran for like, at least
half a mile-
Yeah, I was about to say maybe a little
more
-... in our neighborhood nonstop-
-Mm-hmm
-... right from the jump.
-Mm-hmm.
And we were like, "What is happening right
now?" And we were, like, keeping up. And
then she, like, got to that half-mile mark
and literally just, like, sat down and
was like, "I'm done. I can't go any
further."
-But then she tried to walk.
-But she ran it all, she ran it all one
-direction.
-Okay.
-So it was like, [laughs] "Come on, man."
-You had to carry her back.
-I had to, I had to, like, carry her back.
-And I remember 'cause she stood up to,
-like, walk and she was like-
-Wobbly.
-Wobbly and, like, would fall over.
-I don't know why that ca- like that just
popped into my head the other day. I was
like, "You remember when she was just,
like, two years old and she just took off
running during our, like, family walk and
-just kept running and running?"
-She just kept on going.
So funny. And then I'm gonna... This is,
this is a-
Pause for some pretty big news from the
King household.
-Wait, what?
-Palmer has her first wiggly tooth.
-Oh, Palmer.
-I'm just like, uh...
This is a King family first. We have a
wiggly tooth.
It's a King family first, first wiggly
tooth.
Ally almost jacked it out of her mouth
tonight.
-Okay, not on purpose.
-Like, yanked it out.
-I didn't.
-Uh, it's not ready. It's not even close,
-and Ally was just like, "Argh."
-It is... Well, now it is.
-Well, now it is.
-No, Palmer asked me to wiggle her tooth
-and so I was like, "Sure."
-Which happens at least four times a day-
-I know
-... now that she has a wiggly tooth. She's
-so excited.
-So I was wiggling her tooth, and as I am,
she jerks back, but my hand's still on the
tooth. And when she jerks it back, it,
-like, pops it.
-Mm, mm-hmm.
And it, like, really pops it. But it's
exciting, and I'm just so in my feels
about it 'cause I'm like, "How in the
world-"
-How have we gotten here so fast?
-"... are we here?"
-I know.
-Like, we're at the point-
-It's crazy
-... of-
-She's gonna turn six next month
-... she's gonna be in first grade. She's
turning six. She's losing her first tooth.
-That's wild.
-And I just feel like yesterday was her
-running half a mile. [laughs]
-I know. I guess that-
-Toddlering around
-... those are two good comparisons.
-Yeah.
-Um, then one that is, like, classic P as
well, we're gonna do a little bloop. Um,
the other day after nap, we walked into
-Palmer's room-
-[laughs]
-... and she has this set up and it looks-
-This
... it looks like she's, like, holding a
seance.
Okay, I would be so fascinated to know,
like genuinely, I want-
What was going, like what's going through
her head or-
Wanna know... I wanna know if other
people's kids do this.
-[laughs]
-Like-
-Palmer does it on a regular basis.
-... Palmer will scurry around the house-
-Oh
-... and just, like, you-
-Crossing my fingers.
-[laughs] I don't know what that is.
Palmer, like, scurries around the house
and, like, collects-
-She does. She collects-
-... things
-... and brings them to her room
-... and takes them to her room.
-And builds-
-Like, it might be, like, my bowl on
-display.
-Yeah.
-And here's gonna be, like, this candle.
-Mm-hmm.
-And here's gonna be this-
-Whatever toys. Yeah
-... random piece of junk or toys.
-And, like, little characters, like little
-duckies or, like, a stuffed something.
-Yeah, like, and then she'll just, like-
-Set them all up
-... set things up.
In, like, a scene in her room during quiet
times.
And sometimes, like, even worse, like, all
of her Tonys are in a circle. [laughs]
-[laughs] Homegirl loves a seance.
-She does.
-[laughs] Homegirl loves a seance.
-So I, I tell Will all the time I get so
-frustrated 'cause she just hoards things.
-Yeah, yeah.
-Like, she'll just, like-[laughs]
-It's because Ali redecorates the house and
gets frustrated when it gets undecorated.
I don't redecorate the house. I don't.
But, like, she'll just come by and swipe,
like, a vase. And I'm like, "Put that
back."
-Yes. Yes.
-Is that a toy? Ah!
It's so funny 'cause it's like, oh my
goodness, she's only five. When she, like,
starts hitting teenage years and those,
like, weird awkward years-
-Well, she's not gonna be grabbing-
-... where, like, you start disliking your-
... my stuff
-... disliking your parents-
-No
... y'all are primed to just, like, butt
heads about stuff.
-No, we're gonna be great.
-We'll find out.
We're gonna be great. Stay tuned? Question
mark.
-Stay tuned.
-[laughs]
That'd be incredible if we went for that
long. All right. Fig-
-I said the word scurry-
-... reasons why. He... She said scurry
-... and I know why he's doing this.
-I'm doing it bec-... Okay, do y'all ever
have those moments with your spouse where
it's like you don't know what happen...
Like, this is not the way life normally
is, but for some reason, you get on a roll
as a couple in a moment, and suddenly
everything's hilarious?
-[laughs]
-Like, every little thing that you do is
-making you-
-No, I'm pretty sure that's just us-
-... belly laugh [laughs]
-... because we both think we're the
-funniest people ever.
-Y-... We j-... Like, we just get in these
things where it's like we just... And I
think part of it's, like, we're actually
being hilarious to each other. You know,
like, what we're doing is, like, actual
-humor-
-[laughs]
... and really funny, but it's kinda like
stupid humor, like, where we're, like,
making fun of each other or, like, being
ridiculous. And, like, we just start belly
-laughing-
-[laughs]
... and we can't get ahold of ourselves.
Well, the other night at my parents'
-house-
-[laughs]
... it was just, like, one of those long
days, and we, like, felt like we didn't
-even get to see each other-
-[laughs]
... one of those kinda days. So we, like,
get back up to my childhood bedroom, and-
-[laughs]
-... we're trying to go to bed on this,
-like, m- m-... My mom says it's a queen-
-I don't think it is
-... but it, it feels like a full.
-I think it's a full.
-It... We are way too close to each other.
-I hate it.
Like, we have a king bed. We're like,
"Love you."
-I don't love you. See you later.
-"Can't wait to not see you." [laughs]
-Yeah. Like-
-Bye
... "Goodnight. Bye," over there. And so
we're, like, way too close, and suddenly
we're just, like, get... We get in this
hilarious mood where everything is hil-...
-Like, belly laughs, we're cracking up.
-[laughs]
And Ali's, like, in this mood of like, "Do
not get near me. Do not even look at me.
-Do not-"
-I'm overstimulated. Just leave me alone.
"Like, I'm overstimulated by everything."
And of course, the minute Ali does that-
-And it's, like, quiet
-... gets in that mood.
-Like, there's a lull.
-Right.
I'm like, "Okay, we're done [laughs]
laughing. It's time to go to bed."
Well, and I know she's feeling this way,
and, like, I just start in the bed. I just
go... I don't know if y'all can hear
that.
-No, you start, like... [scratches]
-Let's... I'm gonna... I'm gonna do it on
-the-
-Don't do it on the mic, man. No.
-Let's see if that-
-And then you start, like... [scratches]
I just start in the bed. It's, you know,
pitch black, and I just start doing,
-[scratches] like-
-[scratches] Like, towards me.
Like... And then A-... She's like, "What?
What is that?"
-[laughs] That's like a little rat.
-[laughs] It's like...
-It's terrible.
-So I'm dying laughing. And then I do it
again, you know, like, down under the bed.
-[laughs]
-And she, like, freaks out again. She's
like, "What is happening? What are you
doing? Stop doing that."
-[laughs]
-I'm like, "Fine, fine, fine." I stop, and
-then I-
-But then, like, a good-
... and then... and then I stop for a
while, and I slowly, so quietly, move my
hand up to her pillow, and then right
behind her bed [laughs] and just start
-going... [scratching]
-Oh.
-Like, I do it again right by her ear.
-I hate it.
And she flipped out, and I was like, "All
right, I'm done after that one." That was
-too...
-Says, "You're done. Get out."
It was so funny. And we were... Uh, I d- I
hope y'all experience that. It makes me
think... We don't have time to talk about
it tonight, but there's this topic that I
-want us to talk about-
-Oh, gracious
... that I think is good... a good...
Like, we... I feel like our relationship's
kinda built on this, and a bunch of
people's are. And when I hear people who
are, like, don't have this in their
relationship, I'm like, "Guys, y'all are
not gonna make it," where it's like m-...
The... The thing is, majority of marriage
-is about being best friends-
-Yeah
... not about being romantic partners or
whatever.
-Yeah.
-You know, like-
We had a good conversation about that the
other day, about, like-
-We did
-... the roommate phase.
-Right. Right.
-And how-
-Yeah
-... we need to stop talking about that as
-a negative thing-
-Yes. Yes. Like, people talk about it as-
-... in marriages.
-Right. So, anyway, we don't have time to
-get into that tonight.
-We don't, but that's a really good one
-because-
-But I want us to talk about that one in
the next one. Cross our fingers for a long
period of time.
-Oh, you cross your fingers.
-That is going to be the topic of... O- one
of the topics on the next podcast. But I
think that's all I got for tonight.
-Okay.
-Do you have anything else you'd like to
-share, Mrs. Ging?
-I wanna talk about my dope shirt.
Oh, yes. I forgot to cross my fingers
about that one.
-I know.
-Dope shirt.
-I did. [laughs]
-All right.
-No, I'm just kidding.
-This shirt is awesome.
-This is awesome.
-This is a shirt with a... what looks like
a newspaper printed on the front. But
there's an important reason why there's a
-newspaper on Ali's shirt.
-Yes. Um, so fun fact, my dad was a sports
-writer, sports editor-
-Mm-hmm
-... for the Montgomery Advertiser.
-Her whole family is, like-
-Back in the day
-... very good at writing. Very good at
-writing. So it's just, like-
-I did not get that gene, but...
-Incorrect. You were very good at it too.
-Hmm.
You just didn't pursue it professionally,
but, like, you-
Okay. Anywhos, this was, um, my dad's
article.
Anywhos. Your dad... Sorry. Your dad's
article.
This is my dad's article, um, that he
wrote in 1993.
-November.
-The year you were... You were... The year
-you were before him?
-This is the year I was born. I was two
-months old.
-Two months old. Your dad wrote this
-article.
-Um-
-And I have a T-shirt of it.
-This article is about the Iron Bowl, and,
um, Auburn versus Alabama football game,
if you don't know what that is. Um, and so
I, I don't really know if, like, family
members put this on T-shirts or whatever,
but it's kind of just been, like, passed
around through the family.
-Yeah.
-There's several of us that have the
T-shirts. And so this has become, like,
one of my faves.
-It's... It is a classic-
-That's a great shirt.
-It's a classic Ali shirt.
-Yes.
-We all have classic shirts.
-For sure.
The fact that we're doing this podcast on
video is going to show you all that I
have, like, a rotation of, like, four
shirts [laughs] that I wear all the time.
-But it's a dope shirt.
-It is.
-Article written by my dad.
-Also, before we close it out, y'all
remember Summer Ali from last, last week,
where I talked about the difference
between School Ali and Summer Ali, how I
married these two women? I'm gonna do one
last bloop. This is, um, this is Summer
Ali. Summer Ali is
a perfectly, like, TikTok-esque storage,
like, wife.
-Good organization.
-Like, loves organization. Never does it
-during the school year.
-Okay, I feel like... I feel like Work Ali
-is getting dealt not a fair hand too.
-Look...
I don't let the house go to shambles. It's
not like everything's not organized.
-Tread lightly. Ew.
-That was gross. I'm sorry.
-That was really bad.
-I would not say-
-It's not like our house is a-
-I would not describe the house as-
-... Dumpster fire
-... I would not describe the house as
organized during the school year. I would
describe it-
-I would.
-I would describe it as maintained and
functional, but I don't know if I would
describe it as... Once... I need a before
picture, but nobody takes pictures of the
snack drawer before it's organized.
-[laughs]
-[laughs]
-Um...
-I just feel like... Don't, don't be
-dogging on Work Ali. Work Ali does a lot-
-I'm not.
-... still.
-Work, Work Ali does a ton and is the whole
reason why Summer Ali's the one who
organizes, because School Ali's too busy
trying to, like, teach 20 children how to
read who don't even know what letters are.
Okay.
-So yeah, Work Ali is incredible.
-Work Ali-
-Both Alies-
-... still gets things done here at the
-house.
-Both Alies are incredible. It's just
Summer Ali has more time for the things
that aren't necessary in life.
I just, I just don't love that we talk
positively about an Ali that's only two
-months out of the year.
-Let me tell you, that two months feels
like a whole year, 'cause it's just packed
full of fun and exciting things. You
-didn't know where I was going with that.
-That still didn't land very well. I'm
-like, you still should love all of me.
-Of course I love all of you.
-Interesting.
-We're literally doing a podcast because I
enjoy spending time with you. And we
started it during the middle of a school
-year.
-This is not incorrect. [laughs]
This is not incorrect. [laughs] Nailed it.
All right, we're done. Goodnight.
Okay, bye. [laughs]